Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Saturday, May 24, 2014
A STUDY OF THINGS THEMSELVES IN THE STREETS OF LIFE AND THE NIGHT
On Sunday, June 8 at 6 p.m., there is going to be an experiment taking place at Books and Books .
I have been writing a screenplay for my own reality show.
Untitled Rough Draft Manuscript of the President's Reality Show is a systematic collection of writings and drawings that I have been working on since 2011.
There have been 3 issues, which are now part of the University of Miami Special Collections Library.
I spend about a year or so drawing and writing stuff in journals and on scraps of paper, and then I edit and collate the good ones into these "fanzines".
I give them to friends and sometimes I sell them to people.
The goal is to have these writings and drawings manifest into an actual network television reality show called HANDELSMAN.
A 'reality show'? you ask. Yes. Come check it out at Books and Books on Sunday June 8 at 6 pm.
Since I was a young boy, I have been drawing these things.
And like any creator with a really great idea which begins to have a life of its own, I am unable to take it to the next logical level by myself.
Some really great friends are going to help.
You don't want to miss this experience.
Sunday June 8. Six p.m. Books and Books in Coral Gables.
I have been writing a screenplay for my own reality show.
Untitled Rough Draft Manuscript of the President's Reality Show is a systematic collection of writings and drawings that I have been working on since 2011.
There have been 3 issues, which are now part of the University of Miami Special Collections Library.
I spend about a year or so drawing and writing stuff in journals and on scraps of paper, and then I edit and collate the good ones into these "fanzines".
I give them to friends and sometimes I sell them to people.
The goal is to have these writings and drawings manifest into an actual network television reality show called HANDELSMAN.
A 'reality show'? you ask. Yes. Come check it out at Books and Books on Sunday June 8 at 6 pm.
Since I was a young boy, I have been drawing these things.
And like any creator with a really great idea which begins to have a life of its own, I am unable to take it to the next logical level by myself.
Some really great friends are going to help.
Sunday June 8. Six p.m. Books and Books in Coral Gables.
Friday, May 23, 2014
How to Write Like a Billionaire on Cocaine
I love painting, but I don't have any space and I don't have any paints.
So I will tell you what I am trying to paint:
Small black bird like things began flying out of this orange object. They were like tiny bats coming out of a basketball that was on fire. Thousands of them landed on my shoulders as a member of the
Orange Klux Klan grabbed my hand and pulled me further into the light. Once inside the light, I understood the totality of life and death. My body dissipated and yet, I felt the wings growing out of my shoulder blades. I felt a fullness of joy as the light became so bright that it was impossible to get any brighter. It was like taking a bath in electric orange juice. The car engine sound became deafening. And then I woke up in a jail cell. I was on death row, and I had no idea how long I had been there, or what I had done to earn this situation.
So I will tell you what I am trying to paint:
Small black bird like things began flying out of this orange object. They were like tiny bats coming out of a basketball that was on fire. Thousands of them landed on my shoulders as a member of the
Orange Klux Klan grabbed my hand and pulled me further into the light. Once inside the light, I understood the totality of life and death. My body dissipated and yet, I felt the wings growing out of my shoulder blades. I felt a fullness of joy as the light became so bright that it was impossible to get any brighter. It was like taking a bath in electric orange juice. The car engine sound became deafening. And then I woke up in a jail cell. I was on death row, and I had no idea how long I had been there, or what I had done to earn this situation.
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Untitled Rough Draft Manuscript of the President's Reality Show #4
On Sunday June 8 at 6 p.m. (Books and Books in Coral Gables), I will be conducting a performance from the pages of my Untitled Rough Draft Manuscript of the President's Reality Show series (#'s 1, 2, and 3). These beautiful booklets, which I have been distributing for the past three years are story boards for my reality show, which is tentatively titled: HANDELSMAN.
 |
On January 17, 2014, I interviewed David Lynch on the phone for almost 30 minutes. I told him about my various issues in life which led to his non-profit organization paying $960 for me to take classes. I began taking these classes on 4/20/14, and have talked to David Lynch on the telephone on a number of occasions. In the drawing below, there is a list of names of other well known artists who have also taken these same classes. |
 |
| A number of AMAZING local artists are going to be involved with this project. I am so blessed. It is going to be a multi-media extravaganza. I hope to see you there.  SUNDAY JUNE 8 6PM BOOKS AND BOOKS CORAL GABLES FREE DAVID LYNCH COFFEE WILL BE SERVED FOR MORE INFO: AZAR.ALCAZAR@GMAIL.COM |
Monday, March 10, 2014
David Lynch Coffee Ep[isode 5 JIMI HENDRIX DIES/ JASON HANDELSMAN IS BORN
There are about 100 haikus below, using the 5-7-5 system. I wrote all of them in about an hour while drinking David Lynch Signature Cup Espresso.
In Amsterdam, I
spent my life savings on drugs
and prostitutes. Yuck!
I was driving drunk
and hit a pedestrian
with my car. JESUS!
David Lynch gave me
a scholarship to practice
Hollywood Danger.
Smoking crack rock was
instant gratification
to the maximum.
Birds, fish, bugs, and all
animals know the truth of
God in their own words.
I met Jesus Christ
in the Churchill's parking lot
on June 6, '06.
Rick Ross invited
me to his house to smoke weed
and interview him.
My gall bladder is
no longer inside of me
it has been removed.
Some people have known
me for a very long time
Thank you very much.
With a felony
on my record it is not
easy to find work.
My wife is 5 months
pregnant with our first baby
I can feel him kick.
If you do accept
Jesus Christ into your heart
Holy Ghost Power.
Stand-up comedy
is my definite purpose
as my life goes on.
As a Freemason
I learned how to memorize
alien mind screen.
My reality
show is currently being filmed
using a Smart Phone.
Jerry Seinfeld is
possessed by a demonic
spirit in his soul.
Hundreds of cars stuck
in traffic honking their horns
Beautiful music.
The taste of your sweat
mosquito biting my arm
The Blood of Jesus.
Jimi Hendrix dies
Jason Handelsman is born
reincarnation?
I drink coffee all
day long because I love it
Black as the night sky.
When I speak in tongues
The Holy Spirit says things
Koo Ha Sha Ka Da.
You are reading this
Because I'm planting a seed
Mind is great soil.
The game of golf is
beautiful in Miami
Winter Wonderland.
I wish you could hear
all the voices in my head
floating with Jesus.
I need more coffee
The cowboys ride their horses
The trees are growing.
I look in the sky
and see Jesus Christ coming
deep within the clouds.
Repeat after me:
Chirp chirp, bark bark, meow meow meow.
The Kingdom of God.
Snorting pure cocaine
and then laying down to sleep
on a cement bench.
Marijuana was
a liar and seductress
makes me sick to think.
Drinking coffee with
no gall bladder seems kind of
self-destructive, jolt.
Satelites in space
tell me where you are going
a nice restaurant.
If I stay inside
there are less bugs and a cool
air conditioner.
Sitting under tree
Diahrrea from bird
all over my face.
1984
nice book to read while eating
chocolate ice cream.
Ink dripping from pen 5
The smell of money going 7
in my Jewish nose. 5
Shot up heroin 5
put on women's clothes and walked 7
to the bus station. 5
I lived on a boat
and lost contact with humans
Miami skyline.
This is a screenplay 5
for a film directed by 7
Jason Handelsman 5
The movie is here
Deep within your own true self
action adventure.
I believe the Word
in the New Testament is
the Old Testament.
Like Adolf Hitler
I was born with only one
Super Testicle.
I love the sound of
the lawn mower across the
other dimension.
Looking at my spit
under a microscope and
yellow butterflies.
The President gave
Rachel Goodrich his pick and
she strummed her guitar.
Homeless people do
not buy food with the money
from the gas station.
I keep having this
dream. I'm driving a Lambo
with Kobe Bryant.
I will never drink
another gin and tonic
they will arrest me.
Being in a jail cell
after they said that you killed
someone, accident.
Digging through garbage
and finding a finger wrapped
in tin foil.
I once watched a man
jump off the Queensboro Bridge.
His body splattered.
There is no more time
to waste sitting at a stop
sign between heaven.
Smoking cigarettes
is a really really bad
addiction for you.
Drink lots of water
it is good for your body
and for planet earth.
My mother does not
like the fact that I'm married
to an African.
A human body
that's dead has more energy
than a bag of fruit.
All I want is a
Porsche and season tickets to
Miami Heat games.
I practice my own
form of meditation so
does everyone else.
Heavy Metal songs
like weeds growing deep in my
Garden of Eden.
Throwing stones at the
strawberry fields forever
said Snoop Doggy Dogg.
Destroy satanic
messages in the music
which makes the sky blue.
Buy things with money
which comes from a multitude
of different sources.
Eternal life and
I can go on for days and
days and days and days.
Transcendental has
something to do with your teeth
and tender buttocks.
I used to smoke weed
every single morning when
glittering diamonds.
Experiencing
the Holy Spirit of Christ
Ice cubes in the glass.
Do you want to drive
around and listen to the
engine of my Porsche?
The ticking Rolex
on the wrist of the man who's
interviewing me.
Scientology
is an expensive science
fiction exercise.
Hair grows out of my
pee pee poo poo pee pee
Autumn leaves falling.
Entire body
functions so beautifully
as the heart pumps blood.
I can see spirits
they are wearing Adidas
sneakers and sweatpants.
Cool down and feel the
pages of this book against
unique fingerprints.
Oprah Winfrey is
the actual owner of
entire planet.
Weezy F. Baby
should read 100 haikus
by J. Handelsman.
I need to hang out
with Justin Bieber and bring
him to my Bible.
I try not to look
at my face in the mirror
I'll start popping zits.
Passing the graveyard
and breathing the oxygen
riding bicycle.
I laugh at every
molecule in the chicken
with BBQ sauce.
I'm a left handed
guitar player like Jimi
intials, JH.
I have memorized
hundreds of Bible verses
keeps me really high.
First book I wrote was
"POEMS WRITTEN WHILE LISTENING
TO SLAYER." '89.
Battling demons
life on earth is a challenge
battling demons.
Having hundreds of
millions of dollars is not
the end of the world.
Born Again Christian
you probably hate gays now
is what she told me.
Some decisions are
impossible to let go
of once you've made them.
The right place if you
came to have an encounter
with the Living God.
I pray for healing
in your life right now in the
name of Jesus Christ.
Jason Handelsman
experience the para-
normal power now.
In the House of God
the Lord commanded me to
Supernatural.
The person with the
microphone will always win
so be a heckler.
Using miracles
Jesus has transformed my life
He'll do them for you.
I once spraypainted
a swastika on a cop
car, I had problems.
Christian Rock Music
comes from the early Gospel
Mississippi Blues.
Quiet time with God
A relationship with God
The Body of Christ.
The Kingdom of God
Meditate on God's Word day
and night all the time.
These are random thoughts
I close my eyeballs and think
grinding coffee beans.
I'm sleeping right now
having visions and dreams with
the transfer of light.
This takes place 10 years
ago when the past was the
present [ ] anymore.
I was possessed by
a demon, I thought it was
Ol' Dirty Bastard.
I've had acne since
I read Charles Bukowski
in eleventh grade.
Imagination
where I fell into the hole
London, England, cheers.
You should count on your
fingers every syllable
of every word here.
A hologram of
my spirit against the walls
of Jerusalem.
The angry Jewish
man was blaming me for the
"modern holocaust."
I wish you could read
the stuff that I wrote when I
was 20 years old.
Sleeping in the park
early morning joggers would
be the alarm clock.
Sleeping in a park
construction workers would have
beer and cigarettes.
Sleeping on cardboard
a college graduate should
have listened better.
Taking a shower
is an activity that
is mandatory.
Hot coffee is best
from the glass metal machine
gurgling steam sounds.
Homosexuals
I will say it one more time
homosexuals.
Jesus I ask you
to show me a sign that you
will transform my life.
In Amsterdam, I
spent my life savings on drugs
and prostitutes. Yuck!
I was driving drunk
and hit a pedestrian
with my car. JESUS!
David Lynch gave me
a scholarship to practice
Hollywood Danger.
Smoking crack rock was
instant gratification
to the maximum.
Birds, fish, bugs, and all
animals know the truth of
God in their own words.
I met Jesus Christ
in the Churchill's parking lot
on June 6, '06.
Rick Ross invited
me to his house to smoke weed
and interview him.
My gall bladder is
no longer inside of me
it has been removed.
Some people have known
me for a very long time
Thank you very much.
With a felony
on my record it is not
easy to find work.
My wife is 5 months
pregnant with our first baby
I can feel him kick.
If you do accept
Jesus Christ into your heart
Holy Ghost Power.
Stand-up comedy
is my definite purpose
as my life goes on.
As a Freemason
I learned how to memorize
alien mind screen.
My reality
show is currently being filmed
using a Smart Phone.
Jerry Seinfeld is
possessed by a demonic
spirit in his soul.
Hundreds of cars stuck
in traffic honking their horns
Beautiful music.
The taste of your sweat
mosquito biting my arm
The Blood of Jesus.
Jimi Hendrix dies
Jason Handelsman is born
reincarnation?
I drink coffee all
day long because I love it
Black as the night sky.
When I speak in tongues
The Holy Spirit says things
Koo Ha Sha Ka Da.
You are reading this
Because I'm planting a seed
Mind is great soil.
The game of golf is
beautiful in Miami
Winter Wonderland.
I wish you could hear
all the voices in my head
floating with Jesus.
I need more coffee
The cowboys ride their horses
The trees are growing.
I look in the sky
and see Jesus Christ coming
deep within the clouds.
Repeat after me:
Chirp chirp, bark bark, meow meow meow.
The Kingdom of God.
Snorting pure cocaine
and then laying down to sleep
on a cement bench.
Marijuana was
a liar and seductress
makes me sick to think.
Drinking coffee with
no gall bladder seems kind of
self-destructive, jolt.
Satelites in space
tell me where you are going
a nice restaurant.
If I stay inside
there are less bugs and a cool
air conditioner.
Sitting under tree
Diahrrea from bird
all over my face.
1984
nice book to read while eating
chocolate ice cream.
Ink dripping from pen 5
The smell of money going 7
in my Jewish nose. 5
Shot up heroin 5
put on women's clothes and walked 7
to the bus station. 5
I lived on a boat
and lost contact with humans
Miami skyline.
This is a screenplay 5
for a film directed by 7
Jason Handelsman 5
The movie is here
Deep within your own true self
action adventure.
I believe the Word
in the New Testament is
the Old Testament.
Like Adolf Hitler
I was born with only one
Super Testicle.
I love the sound of
the lawn mower across the
other dimension.
Looking at my spit
under a microscope and
yellow butterflies.
The President gave
Rachel Goodrich his pick and
she strummed her guitar.
Homeless people do
not buy food with the money
from the gas station.
I keep having this
dream. I'm driving a Lambo
with Kobe Bryant.
I will never drink
another gin and tonic
they will arrest me.
Being in a jail cell
after they said that you killed
someone, accident.
Digging through garbage
and finding a finger wrapped
in tin foil.
I once watched a man
jump off the Queensboro Bridge.
His body splattered.
There is no more time
to waste sitting at a stop
sign between heaven.
Smoking cigarettes
is a really really bad
addiction for you.
Drink lots of water
it is good for your body
and for planet earth.
My mother does not
like the fact that I'm married
to an African.
A human body
that's dead has more energy
than a bag of fruit.
All I want is a
Porsche and season tickets to
Miami Heat games.
I practice my own
form of meditation so
does everyone else.
Heavy Metal songs
like weeds growing deep in my
Garden of Eden.
Throwing stones at the
strawberry fields forever
said Snoop Doggy Dogg.
Destroy satanic
messages in the music
which makes the sky blue.
Buy things with money
which comes from a multitude
of different sources.
Eternal life and
I can go on for days and
days and days and days.
Transcendental has
something to do with your teeth
and tender buttocks.
I used to smoke weed
every single morning when
glittering diamonds.
Experiencing
the Holy Spirit of Christ
Ice cubes in the glass.
Do you want to drive
around and listen to the
engine of my Porsche?
The ticking Rolex
on the wrist of the man who's
interviewing me.
Scientology
is an expensive science
fiction exercise.
Hair grows out of my
pee pee poo poo pee pee
Autumn leaves falling.
Entire body
functions so beautifully
as the heart pumps blood.
I can see spirits
they are wearing Adidas
sneakers and sweatpants.
Cool down and feel the
pages of this book against
unique fingerprints.
Oprah Winfrey is
the actual owner of
entire planet.
Weezy F. Baby
should read 100 haikus
by J. Handelsman.
I need to hang out
with Justin Bieber and bring
him to my Bible.
I try not to look
at my face in the mirror
I'll start popping zits.
Passing the graveyard
and breathing the oxygen
riding bicycle.
I laugh at every
molecule in the chicken
with BBQ sauce.
I'm a left handed
guitar player like Jimi
intials, JH.
I have memorized
hundreds of Bible verses
keeps me really high.
First book I wrote was
"POEMS WRITTEN WHILE LISTENING
TO SLAYER." '89.
Battling demons
life on earth is a challenge
battling demons.
Having hundreds of
millions of dollars is not
the end of the world.
Born Again Christian
you probably hate gays now
is what she told me.
Some decisions are
impossible to let go
of once you've made them.
The right place if you
came to have an encounter
with the Living God.
I pray for healing
in your life right now in the
name of Jesus Christ.
Jason Handelsman
experience the para-
normal power now.
In the House of God
the Lord commanded me to
Supernatural.
The person with the
microphone will always win
so be a heckler.
Using miracles
Jesus has transformed my life
He'll do them for you.
I once spraypainted
a swastika on a cop
car, I had problems.
Christian Rock Music
comes from the early Gospel
Mississippi Blues.
Quiet time with God
A relationship with God
The Body of Christ.
The Kingdom of God
Meditate on God's Word day
and night all the time.
These are random thoughts
I close my eyeballs and think
grinding coffee beans.
I'm sleeping right now
having visions and dreams with
the transfer of light.
This takes place 10 years
ago when the past was the
present [ ] anymore.
I was possessed by
a demon, I thought it was
Ol' Dirty Bastard.
I've had acne since
I read Charles Bukowski
in eleventh grade.
Imagination
where I fell into the hole
London, England, cheers.
You should count on your
fingers every syllable
of every word here.
A hologram of
my spirit against the walls
of Jerusalem.
The angry Jewish
man was blaming me for the
"modern holocaust."
I wish you could read
the stuff that I wrote when I
was 20 years old.
Sleeping in the park
early morning joggers would
be the alarm clock.
Sleeping in a park
construction workers would have
beer and cigarettes.
Sleeping on cardboard
a college graduate should
have listened better.
Taking a shower
is an activity that
is mandatory.
Hot coffee is best
from the glass metal machine
gurgling steam sounds.
Homosexuals
I will say it one more time
homosexuals.
Jesus I ask you
to show me a sign that you
will transform my life.
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