Saturday, November 2, 2013

I want to make myself vulnerable

That is the whole point of this blog. Overcoming my own fears of being vulnerable. Having acne, going bald, being a Born Again Christian, having a history of addiction, feeling like an idiot for most of my life, just putting it all out there and dealing with the outcome.

Being honest to myself. Knowing that I can really change the world, turn it upside down, but not exactly sure where to start. Dealing with all this modern social media stuff and feeling old at the age of 40. Being married. Not drinking anymore or smoking weed. Secluding myself from night life, staying home and working on being a man of God. Having a relationship with God since I was born.

People have been calling me weird my whole life. There is more, but I am not complaining. I am just trying to let out as much as possible on this library computer in 10 minutes. I want to just write and write and not worry about the reader's reaction. OR my own fear of shame....like...in a few hours feeling the urge to delete this...

This blog is going to be my therapy. I want to be the best at what I do, but I am unable to put that into words. I am trying. I dream all day long. I pray instead of thinking. I am expecting really great things to happen today. I love life. Every breath and every step. Why does this feel like something I may have done while I was in high school in 1990? Just on a piece of paper that I would hide under my bed, now, I am preparing to lead millions of people to Christ.

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